White Washed Feminists

I have decided to post an e-mail I received anonymously.  This is what we have received at the hands of other Christians for daring to disagree with certain ideas being taught.  Note that never are examples given, or any gentle instruction offered.  Instead our character, integrity, and intelligence is questioned.  How sad for us all.

Well, well, well…….how very up-to-date you portray yourselves…how free, how hip, how enlightened. How delusional!

It seems that you have illegally used photos of Lydia Sherman’s blog, or am I delusional,  hallucinating? That puts YOU in a precarious position, does it not?

It also seems you know not your accurate American history, but only the northern, fractured, federal indoctrination version of the bulk  of it. My, my…so easily misled too.Too bad….you are so very limited in your scope of ever being capable of deliberating wisely on the subject. How very pathetic.

It seems too that you simply have no moral mechanism with which to appreciate the Godly advice,admonitions, and inspirations given those of us “who have ears to hear and eyes to see”, by Mrs. Sherman.  Understandable, however, as a sickly condition such as you and yours who have who obviously long-ago abandoned the leading of the Holy Spirit for the leading of your own pride and self-aggrandizement.

You all have been well-indoctrinated by the forces of evil and your futures are set. God have the “amazing grace” to free you all from your strong delusions.

Hoping for your speedy recovery,

Scarlett…a white, black-loving, feminine, artistic, piano-playing, sewing, swimming, book-reading, liberty-loving Jeffersonian, Virginian Southern descendant with plantation ownership who wanted to free the slaves whom we treated as FAMILY, grandmother-of-four. Now, put that in your pipe and smoke it!

The e-mail came from “Scalett O’Hara”.

Now, if anyone knows where we’ve stolen something from Lydia Sherman, please bring it to my attention.  I think we’ve quoted her (always with credit given, and links when possible), but I don’t think we have any photos.  As for the History issue, I reject the e-mailer totally.  My father is a retired American History teacher, and my childhood vacations were often spent at sites that helped me learn about our History.

Mostly, though, what disappoints me is the tone of the thing.  No one can hope for real discourse, or to truly teach us anything with an e-mail like that.  It was a cowardly, angry thing, sent without benefit of real identity.  If that’s supposed to be my example of a real Christian “lady”, I think I’ll pass.  I may not always be right, and I may not always be as nice as I should be.  But at least I’ll have the courage to err as myself.

(Warning, sarcasm alert!  If your sensibilities make saracsm difficult to swallow, please close this window now).

What is up with the obsessive use of the Webster’s 1828 Dictionary by so many patriocentric families?  Are they aware that 181 years of language has developed since this dictionary was published?  What is wrong with my good ole’ Webster’s that I picked up in college?  You know how some folks believe that a certain edition of the King James’ Bible is the inspired Word of God in English and that it contains no errors, even in the translation?  That’s what this obsession with the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary feels like to me.  And just as conspiracy theories abound when it comes to modern translations, theories abound with “corrupt” dictionaries too!

What is up with that?

Oh, wait… just looked up Vision Forum’s description of this dictionary and I’m getting a much clearer picture:

This gigantic, oversized, heavy book is perhaps second only to the Bible in terms of importance in your home. When Noah Webster first published this book, he understood that whoever defined the words of a culture would capture that culture. So he sought to give the American people a dictionary in which words have meaning in terms of their relationship to Jesus Christ. In fact, this is the only comprehensive dictionary of the English language in print that seeks to communicate a distinctively biblical worldview, even to the point of using Scriptures in the definitions.

This idea goes back to the fallacy that the Bible contains the answer to every possible question… including the definition of words like “machinery” and “rakish”.  The Bible doesn’t answer every question.  It doesn’t even answer most questions.  I look to it for the answers it intends to give, not the ones I project onto it.

Anyway, maybe this dictionary thing really is like the KJV-only controversy.  Do I see the book “New Age Dictionaries” being published in the future?  At this point, nothing would surprise me.

Father’s Day has been bittersweet for me the past four years.  My husband has been a father for four years… but I’ve been without my father for that same amount of time.  I want to celebrate my husband and thank him for the amazing job he does with our children, but at the same time, I feel the loss of my own dad so deeply that it almost makes the day unbearable.  Unfortunately, time has not healed this wound.

To Mark, my husband, I say thank you for your sacrifices in caring for our family.  I have never seen a man lay down his life for others like you have for us.  As a father, you are gentle, endlessly patient, and wise.  You know our children- their interests, their temperments, the little things that make them laugh.  You know their deepest faults and their greatest talents.  You  model to me how Christ loves his church when you care for our children.  You are an example of Christ’s love for children.  You have obeyed God in regards to the treatment of His covenant children.  They have received the sign of the covenant in baptism.  They receive catechesis at home and in the church.  Through your wisdom, they receive the manifold blessings of being part of Christ’s church.  I have no doubt that they will one day be confessing members due to your diligence in teaching and training them.

To my own dad, though you have passed on to glory, I say thank you for being the best of men.  Thank you for your generosity and for the life you poured out in service to others- to your family, your friends, and your community.  Thank you for being my best friend and my protector.  Even through the tests and trials, you guided me through and helped me make the good choices that ultimately led me to the life I have now… a life that I truly love.  Thank you for allowing me to go to Bible school abroad, for it is there that I met my amazing husband.  Thank you for sending me to university so that I could further my intellectual and spiritual development.  Thank you for sharing your faith with me.  Thank you for coming to me when we lost our daughter.  You were one of the very few people who saw her and held her.  Thank you for paying for her gravestone so that there is a tangible reminder that she was here and that she was and is very much loved.  Thank you for showing us the true meaning of “dying with dignity.”  Your incredible faith among the most difficult trial is something I was privileged to witness.  And to see you pass on to glory, to be there at that precious moment… daddy, I’ll never forget it.  You are the first to really know our beloved Grace.  You are another anchor we have in heaven.

Happy Father’s Day to all those blessed men who have undertaken the most incredible task of fatherhood.

I just wanted to take a brief moment and explain why I closed the comments on the Round-Table post.  It was my decision, though it was made with Jennifer/Cally’s consent.

When I first talked to Stacy McDonald about doing this round table, I had thought I wouldn’t allow comments at all.  But then I reconsidered.  I thought perhaps some really good conversation could come of it.  Conversation that would be enlightening, and uplifting.

In the end, there was some of that, but I can’t tell you how many comments I had to delete.   The thing is, whether or not we agree on points of doctrine, or how best to live out our lives of faith, we all have the common goal which is to live for Christ!  I believe that when we discuss things, as sisters, we can learn a lot, even if we ultimately disagree.  But even if we disagree, if we’ve really listened as well as spoken, hopefully we can have a better understanding of where the other side is coming from.  I didn’t want this to be place where either side proved the “rightness” of their position.  I wanted this to be a place where we better understood each other and what was discussed in this particular book.

There was a time that I would have let the conversation go on, unhindered, and our blog probably would have degenerated into a verbal slug-fest.  And I don’t know if it’s that I’m pregnant, or if it’s because I’m tired, but I don’t want to it to go there anymore.  I want what is found here to be edifying, enlightening, and something that gives glory to God.  Sadly, I think if I continue to allow comments on that post, it will no longer be any of those things.  Therefore, they are closed.  If  you have any concerns, please feel free to e-mail us.

Peace In Him,

Okay, there’s been a bit of controversy around here today about the meaning of the word “heresy.”  I’m not writing this post to argue about the meaning of the word.  I am simply going to define the term as we understand it and as the church has historically understood the term.  I am shamelessly ripping off my former pastor’s words in an article he wrote for “Modern Reformation” magazine back in 2003.  I think he sums it all up perfectly:

Heresy ‘is any teaching that directly contradicts the clear and direct witness of the Scriptures on a point of salvific importance.’  In other words, there may be teachings that are strange, such as Benny Hinn’s suggestion that before the Fall, Adam could fly and remain for hours underwater, or teachings that we may regard as clearly contrary to the biblical texts.  But since they do not touch upon a key doctrine of God, human nature, Christ’s person and work, the Holy Spirit, or salvation, they may be erroneous, but they are not heretical.

~Dr. Michael Horton, “All About Heresy,” Modern Reformation 2003

He goes on to ask the question “Who decides?”

The answer is certain: the Scriptures.

Using this definition, here are some examples of heresy:

Pelagianism, Arianism, Appollinarianism, Nestorianism, Modalism, Monarchianism, Subordinationism, Gnosticism

Patriocentrism (or my new favorite term “theonomic patriarchalism”) is errant at its core.  These teachings grievously twist the Scriptures.  But you can still believe them and be a Christian.  The same cannot be said for the heresies listed above.

Our Round Table questions for the first chapter:

So, in what ways did Carolyn resonate with you?

In what ways do you differ from Carolyn?

What do you think Carolyn’s biggest issue is?

Do you think this is a common issue for women?

Our Participants:

Stacy McDonald from Your Sacred Calling and author of the book, Anne from Our Homeschool and White Washed Feminists, Sarah Mae from Like a Warm Cup of Coffee, and Lynn from Indelible Grace, and Janet of Exulting In The Cross.

The Discussion:

Lynn:

<< So, in what ways did Carolyn resonate with you? >>

Probably in putting off general organization and housework, then getting
frustrated and embarrassed about it.  Too much time on the internet. This is not nearly as much of a problem as it used to be, but it could be a lot better. I am thinking of reserving it for the late afternoon only, when it will feel like a nice treat to sit down and facebook or e-mail friends, and surf, comment on blogs, etc..

<< In what ways do you differ from Carolyn? >>

Well, my parents wanted me to go to college, so I did, and I graduated, and there were no offers of marriage at that time, so I worked for a few years. I really, really wanted to be married, though. I hated being single. I got
married, about 5 years after ending college, and continued to work part-time until the children came along, then severely curtailed work, and finally quit.  So I know nothing of being on the brink of having a career, then putting it off
for motherhood right away, and I do not miss it at all, to be honest.

<< What do you think Carolyn’s biggest issue is? >>

It’s hard to say. She could be struggling with post-partum depression, or it may be as simple as jealousy and envy of her neighbor and her husband.  It isn’t just the wife that struggles, btw, during these years. Her husband

could be having problems, too. He could be wishing to get out from under the strain of having to provide for his family. He could be doing things that are under the radar, such as sexual fantasies and pornography.  Perhaps neither one of them are in a good community of believers. Perhaps both of them are isolated, or are feeling that way.  All other things being equal, she will feel a lot better if she does some work first before looking at books and surfing the internet. If she works at connecting with her husband.  She may indeed need to take some time for herself, but not the way she is doing with her mental escapes into books and the net – for exercise and fitness, for example. She may not be scheduling enough bathtub time for herself if that’s how she unwinds.  It doesn’t all have to be related to self-centeredness.  She may need some organizational skills to help her.

<< Do you think this is a common issue for women? >>

I think it is a very common issue for some mothers with multiple children. I was told that the mothers of the early 1960s that they were in awe of Jacqueline Kennedy and her poise, beauty, and charm, and that was their dream – to be kept, have beautiful hairdos, lovely clothes, and to not have to be alone so much and out of sight. Each generation deals with these kinds of issues.

Sarah Mae:

So, in what ways did Carolyn resonate with you?

More ways than I care to admit! I would say that my perspective has been changing…I do not think the same way Carolyn does, but my actions are very similiar to hers – messy home, unkept look, etc.

In what ways do you differ from Carolyn?

I don’t buy into the “my life could be better if…” thing. I wouldn’t trade being a homemaker and full-time mommy for anything – even on those crazy days!

What do you think Carolyn’s biggest issue is?

Her attitude…lies she is believing

Do you think this is a common issue for women?

YES! It is so easy to let our thoughts go negative, which lead the way to foolish living and behavior.

Stacy:

So, in what ways did Carolyn resonate with you?

It was a transition (culture shock) for me to go from working woman with one child (and single) to being a pregnant wife and mother of 5 children in less than a year. This rocked my world. The hardest part for me was no longer having a “perfect” house with clean walls and a peaceful atmosphere. I cried a lot because I couldn’t keep up and I was determined to – even if it killed me (and it almost did! LOL). God had to bring me to my knees and make me truly needy to see that I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) “do it all.” To show me what was important and what wasn’t.

While motherhood and homemaking was still what I wanted more than anything, I wanted it MY way. I still wanted to look perfectly manicured and dressed to the hilt each day. I wanted all of Jessica’s “Little People” to stay on the shelf, facing the front, nicely in a row. I even wanted my carpet to keep the vacuum lines (no kidding!). In Passionate Housewives, when I mentioned the ”marble sink,” I was trying to give a word picture of what life was like in the neighborhoods where I grew up in Houston. Homes were new. Bathtubs shined. Everyone wanted marble sinks, Corian counters, and custom kitchens and bathrooms. It was yuppie land. Many moms I knew were like me; they wanted to keep their homes a “certain” way, and children (and many times, finances, when you’re on one income) get in the way of that. Here is the quote from the book:

“Finally, after spending long days watching dancing alphabet people on television; making organic, fat-free baby food; driving Johnny to soccer; discovering that undisciplined children don’t obey; and washing dirty diapers in her marble sink; the exhausted ‘professional’ stay-at-home mom burns out and goes back to work where at least she was appreciated and life was ‘easier.’”

I saw moms who gave up careers to come home and found that life was not as glamorous as they imagined. They tried to superimpose the “professional life” into the home and they felt defeated. They read all the latest child training books, and tried to do everything perfectly; but, they found it wasn’t real – it wasn’t “natural.” They were trying to turn their homes into a daycare and it was not “real life.” Moms also found that motherhood is often a “thankless” job. That may sound like a cliché, but it is a truth that moms need to know going into it. Servanthood is giving and it means sacrifice. Jesus calls every Christian to this. If we’re not focused on what we’re “not getting” then we won’t notice when we don’t get it. I’m much happier this way. J

Homemaking is a job that is never, ever completely done. You don’t always get a pat on the back from the boss (but a good husband should do his best! J), and the work day doesn’t end at 5:00. There are no bonuses, no pay, no intellectually stimulating projects (unless you count homeschooling), and often no adult interaction. And the thing that was the hardest for me was that I never seemed to have UNDISTRACTED time to work. Trying to clean the house, cook, pay bills, organize laundry, toys, kitchen, bathroom—whatever, would take no time at all if I could complete those duties alone – uninterrupted! But I have to somehow do it with little ones pulling on my skirt, spilling drinks, asking thousands of questions, bickering, coloring on the wall, having to go potty, cleaning up where someone wasn’t SUPPOSED to go potty, and yes, washing diapers in my “just washed” marble sink. (Not that I ever had a real marble sink, by the way! LOL)

Some of these things were part of what inspired that chapter. All those things are real struggles we face, but I wanted to point moms to the joy that’s in the midst of it all, when our focus is right. Does that make sense?

Lynn:

Regarding the portrait of Carolyn in PHDFG: let me throw out a very realistic, though hypothetical anecdote, based on my experience on a rehabilitation unit, plus a real live conversation I had with a close friend yesterday. Then, I’ll try as best as I can to explain why I wrote this.

Let’s say an elderly female has a stroke on the left side of her brain, which affects her right side body movements, and leaves her unable to speak, though she can possibly understand everything said to her. Her chief medical issues at
this time are stabilization and recovery as much as possible, and rehabilitation for where recovery does not occur.

1) There is a tendency to get your mind over-focused on the chief problem this woman has, to the exclusion of other matters that might exist and need to be dealt with.

2) There is always a tendency to depersonalize people, who come as whole packages, by putting labels on them.  The labels might be very true – for example – “I’m working with a left CVA, right hemi with expressive aphasia today in the parallel bars.” This is true, but humanly speaking I’m seeing if I can help Mrs. Smith recover some balance, transfer, and ambulate safely so she can go back home.

But getting back to number 1) — the stroke may not be Mrs. Smith’s only problem.  There can be a tendency to overlook other problems which contribute to her recovery and rehabilitation. Let’s say Mrs. Smith was getting some pretty
painful osteoarthritis in her right knee, but was compensating for it well enough prior to her stroke, by taking ibuprofin, and her physician didn’t know about it.  In the emergent phase of recovery, things can fly under the radar screen. But when you try to get Mrs. Smith to transfer or stand on her stronger side (her left side), she can’t. She hasn’t taken her ibuprofin, and her knee hurts, and she can’t tell you except to make signs. The rehab team realizes that orthopedic doctors need to be called in, and she may require some medications and/or surgery to help this
problem so she can utilize her stronger leg without pain.

3) The solutions to real problems we face may come from places that surprise us.

Re 3) – here’s a real life situation. One I found out about yesterday from a friend I’m getting reconnected with after about 15 years. Her firstborn son is 17, and she explained how he was an early reader, and his reading level has always been “off the charts” as she told me. However, she could not get him to work with math or writing in homeschooling. His reading comprehension was fine, but he would fly into rages with her and become defiant with her, and her perception was he only wanted to do what HE wanted to do, and so there was a power struggle, which didn’t help matters.  She eventually put him in a Christian school and his orthography etc. continued to “stink.” The teachers all assured her that by the time he was a little older, it would be better, boys are slower after all, don’t worry, etc.. But it didn’t get better.  It took a move, and a decision to place him in a public school, who evaluated him for learning disabilities, and they didn’t get it right the first time, but eventually he was diagnosed with what is called “dysgraphia.” I don’t know anything about
it, other than when he was allowed to use a computer to do his work, and got intervention for the rest, his grades skyrocketed. And his mother tells me she still is dealing with repercussions from making his brain issues character ones, and for labeling him as “lazy.” She intimated to me that sometimes what a child needs is not parents who have no clue, or Christian or public schools that slough off problems. Sometimes the help you get is where a large sector of Christendom (ie – the homeschooling movement) will tell you you can’t go, on account of all the corruption. And that is a public school system that tries its best to help diagnose problems so children are not so frustrated and can succeed.  This is a very real story I just related.

Ok – Carolyn.  Carolyn’s problem with envy of working women, her possible mild depression does NOT exist in a vacuum. It may be her chief problem, but it may not be her only problem.  Does she need to get her eyes off our materialistic culture? I thoroughly agree.  But I just want to remind myself at this juncture that although she will need a
reminder that this life isn’t about us (I’ve read on), that her calling to be with her children and build the home is a high calling that Radical Feminism has tried to make into meaningless, slavish, drudgery, that there may be other things
she’s facing and has to deal with during her “rehabilitation phase.” Things that well meaning Christians can overlook, and perhaps even physicians and others might not get right the first time around.  That – and based on the conversation I had yesterday – the solutions to her problems might not fit into neat little categories that we would like to have them
fit into.  And instead of focusing on the labels of “feminist,” it is always good to get back to the person you are dealing with — which is Carolyn.

In order to make the first chapter work well, you have to make some assumptions. You have to assume that Carolyn’s husband does see when she’s exhausted and pitches in; he does spend as much time with his children as he possibly can, their relationship is generally good, that Carolyn does not have underlying medical issues, and it’s also would be helpful to assume they are in a good church.

Anne:

> Too much time on the internet.

I have this problem myself, Lynn!

> It’s hard to say. She could be struggling with post-partum >depression

This is a great point. I think sometimes we focus on what a joyous thing it is to have a baby, we forget to tell women that they may feel isolated, and depressed. It’s a huge change, motherhood, and there are so many chemical changes. Women shouldn’t feel bad or guilty about post-partum depression.  There is help, and many of us have also dealt with it.

> Stacy said: Some of these things were part of what inspired that chapter. All those things are real struggles we face, but I wanted to point moms to the joy that’s in the midst of it all, when our focus is right. Does that make sense?

Everything you said made sense to me! And I think using this example was actually a great way to start the book. Because so many of us have issues similar to Carolyn’s and it helped us see in what ways this book was going to be useful to us.

Carolyn’s story resonated with me in that I often feel overwhelmed, especially if I’ve let things go. Sometimes I feel like everyone else has it all together and I’m trying desperately to keep my home and family in order!

I differ from Carolyn in that while I do love what I do, my ultimate dream has always been wife and motherhood. I have no desire to be in the workforce at all.

I think Carolyn’s biggest issue is a lack of contentment with where she is and what she has. When we can find peace about being who we are, where God has placed us, and work to do the best job we can right now, I think we’re all a lot
happier.

I think this is a very common issue for women. Especially those of us who, like me, were really raised to become working women. In my case, for example, I love being at home, caring for my husband, my children, and my house. But I feel ill equipped. I’m behind. Because I wasn’t trained for this work. I want to do well, but become frustrated when I don’t think I am. I think it may be some of that frustration that leads women to want to be back in the work force where they at least feel that they know what they’re doing.

Janet:

So, in what ways did Carolyn resonate with you?

Carolyn’s story resonated with me in that I can tend to get depressed and give up if I let things go.  Or if we’re putting in a septic system.  (smile)  She seemed overwhelmed, and ready to believe that the lady across the street had it all together. The truth is that none of us have it all together. We may have perfectly tidy homes, yet we snap at the kids.  We may have messy kitchens, yet we’ve spent a couple of fruitful hours snuggling on the couch with a sick child.

In what ways do you differ from Carolyn?

I am older than Carolyn. Most of my children are grown, or growing…I only have one under 10. I am happy to be home, and I do not long to have a career. I worked recently for a couple of years on a part-time basis for a ministry that I LOVE, but even though I was only away two days per week, the entire house fell apart. It’s just not worth it to me.

What do you think Carolyn’s biggest issue is?

She doesn’t see the value of her calling. In fact, she doesn’t see being a keeper at home AS a calling. So, she is not contented, and she is not resting in the fact that this is exactly where she is supposed to be, and what she is supposed to be doing. She needs to have her perspective changed. That would make all the difference.

Do you think this is a common issue for women?

I think this is a very common issue for women. They have been fed the lie that there is fulfillment in a career that is not possible if you are a stay-at-home wife and mother. They want to make something of themselves, to leave a mark on the world, to receive those pats on the back from their co-workers or bosses. They can’t imagine feeling fulfilled if they “just” stay at home.

Note: Feel free to discuss in the comments section, but Jennifer and I decided that we did not want this to be a place to ask questions of Stacy McDonald.  Too often that’s turned into a bash fest, and we don’t want that to happen here.  Thank you for understanding.

As of 6/18/09 Comments have been closed.

I’m trying to think of a way to start this blog post out with a clever intro or a cute story.

It just won’t do.

I’m frustrated.  I’m frustrated and disgusted.

Against my own better judgment, I visited a blog today where I had no business being if I wanted to keep peace in my own soul.  I knew  better, but I couldn’t stay away.  I read most of the comments under a few blog posts and I straight up could not believe what I was reading.

A woman had commented looking for encouragement and advice in a somewhat desperate and ongoing situation.  What she received in return by a number of commentors, certainly not all, was at best, unhelpful and condemning- at worst, hurtful and heavy-handed.  She mentioned that she had difficulty with some aspects of Vision Forum-style patriarchy and was given “I don’t believe what ‘they’ teach- I just believe the Bible” in return.

How nice for you.  Would that it be clear for the rest of us who actually wrestle with these ideas!

I came away from that discussion so sad and quite angry.  A common thread I find in blogs that espouse patriocentricity is an attitude of superiority.  Because they have the true knowledge of what “God’s Way” is, they seem to think they can speak however they wish to people and no one can answer back or question it.  There is very little grace extended to anyone who disagrees, even in the slightest respect.  Frankly, its snooty.  I don’t know what else to call it.

I have news for you folks- there are complementarians and egalitarian feminists who believe the Bible to be the sole, infallible rule of faith and practice for the Christian.  They hold Scripture in the highest regard.  And they disagree with what you think it says.

But that doesn’t seem to compute with so many patriocentrists.  Instead of actually interacting with ideas, they shut down the conversation with labels and easy answers like “you’re just indoctrinated by feminism” or “these ‘Christians’ say they believe the Bible, but we all know the truth.”  Can we say “straw man”?

When you start a conversation with something like “I don’t believe what ‘they’ teach, I just believe the Bible,” you take away all chances for discussion.  You are certainly implying that those who disagree with you disagree with God’s Holy Word and that is often not the case.

These blogs exist to supposedly encourage wives and mothers, but they spend so much time (at least in the comments) shooting others down.  In actuality, I think they exist to encourage wives and mothers who think like they do. And if you dare disagree, you’re labeled as a “Christian”.

These are my impressions.  I could be dead wrong… but doesn’t it behoove these people to take an honest look at they way they come across when people challenge them?  Its not the teaching that bothers me as much as the attitude behind it.  There’s such an attitude of superiority- it reeks through each and every word.  And instead of actually considering what the dissenter is saying, these bloggers label or condemn or make new accusations.  Its really disheartening.

I’m guilty of this too- not so much the superiority complex, but of not considering that an actual person is writing these comments.  A person with a heart and a soul and feelings… May God help me in this area.  I know that many anti-patrio blogs are guilty of the same kind of rudeness I see on pro-patrio blogs, but the attitude behind the rudeness seems to be different.

We don’t all have a monopoly on the truth.  Instead of being an encouragement today, the blog I visited ruined my day because of the owner’s treatment of several commentors.  Its such a shame.  She may have many valuable things to say.  She may be the nicest person I’ll ever meet, but I’ll never have the chance to know that because her attitude put me off so much that I never want to go back.  Ever.

My impressions are not always right… my experience with Stacy McDonald has proven that to me… but how am I ever going to be proven wrong when the guns come out blazing every time there’s a disagreement?

Remember that old saying “What you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear what you say?” or in the case of blogging “What you SAY speaks so loudly, I can’t see who you are”…

Perhaps we should all take that to heart.

Note from Anne: Please know that this is a subject that Jennifer and I have dealt with ourselves.  When we started this blog over a year ago, we were all fired up about what we perceived to be wrong within the Christian Community.  We were frustrated and upset and had a lot to get off our chests.  Of course, we eventually realized that the people we most wanted to hear us, couldn’t.  We realized that we needed to change our tone, because we really do care about our brothers and sisters-in-Christ and believe that this dialogue is vital in continuing to live out our Christian lives to their fullest.  Any of us could be 100% right, but no one will be able to hear us if we can’t approach one another with a spirit of humility and love.

I’ve said before that my walk with Christ has not always been a rythmic one.  I might have started down this path at a nice jogging pace, but I have run the gamut from running to meet my Lord to sitting still in the middle of the road not sure if I could move at all.

I think many of us have periods of spiritual drought and we all need to know what to do when we’re unable to motivate ourselves. So, here’s my best advice:

1. Be patient. We may not be doing much, but God is always at work, and he will be able to use everything, including our times of thirst.

2. Trust in Him. We may think He’s not listening at all, but He is.  He has a plan, He has promised us Living Water (John 7:38), and He is faithful to keep his promises.

3. Pick up your bible. God has two ways He communicates with us.  One of them is the Scriptures.  His story, and ours, is contained within it.  And I can’t tell you how many times He has seemed to speak directly to my heart from the Bible.

4. Go outside. The other way God tends to communicate with us is through Creation.  Spend some time in the garden, and the park.  Take a hike if you can.  Sit by a stream.  Anything where you can see God’s creative spirit at work and be touched by it.

5. Pray. Prayer can start anywhere.  And it doesn’t matter what the words are, it just matters that you’re communicating.  We couldn’t have a really deep friendship with someone we never communicated with.  We couldn’t have a good marriage if we never talked to our husbands.  Likewise, we can’t have a truly close relationship with God if we don’t take some time and chat.

6. Find some silence if you can. Just as it’s important to talk to God and tell Him what we’re thinking about, worried about, and what’s on our minds, it’s also important to be still and know that He is God.  (Psalm 46:10) We can’t really give him a chance to speak to us if we don’t find some time to be quiet and listen.

7. Talk to a friend. We Christians all have these periods, and no one can sympathize better than someone who’s been there, done that.  We are here to encourage and uplift one another.  So, find someone you trust and share with them.  They’ll be grateful when the tables are turned and they can talk to you, too.

Lastly, I think we have to take advantage of the times where we’re not struggling as hard with our faith. I realized that recently I’ve been jogging down the road again, crazy in love with the God who made me, and full of a desire to learn, to praise, and to engage in extravagant worship that can’t even begin to express how I feel or how awesome our Lord is.  I think we need to take full advantage of times like these.  It’s like filling canteens.  We may not need all the water now, but it will quench our thirst when we feel we’re without.  Of course, with God, we’re never really alone, we’re never really without, and we don’t have to carry the burdens all by ourselves.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30